Fun with SkyMall

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While thumbing through a SkyMall on my flight to Denver, I couldn’t help but share with you some of the more entertaining products. Enjoy. 

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I need to listen to NPR right now! IT’S AN EMERGENCY!!!

This one was for a shed that you can build inside your car.

"Perfect for dying on top of!"

For the man who’s job is such a joke that he can play golf in his office and have his wife come get drunk while he’s at it.

'…why Ethiopia? Well, I had to go somewhere where people wouldn't realize how hilarious my last name is.”

For homes that are full of mosquitos?

"Also works as a hysterical grave stone!"

Just be really careful not to set it to “CRUSH EVERY BONE IN BODY”

So, a bracelet?

"Wake up assuming you suffered a terrible neck injury in your sleep!"

Wow, Willem Dafoe is taking any work that comes his way.

For the entire Earth!?!? Nooo!!!

"Perfect for watching ‘The Cove’!"

Disobey me again and I will send you to southern Argentina.

Very curious as to how they ship the fully planted garden bed. 

All jokes aside, my X-Wing needs a tune up so I might actually pick this up.

I just found this copy of Channing Tatum’s daily schedule. Enjoy!

TODAY

8:00AM – 9:00AM – BREAKFAST: Golden Grahams

9:00AM – 9:30AM – SpongeBob

9:30AM – 10:30AM – Finish putting glow stars on bedroom ceiling

10:30AM – 12:00AM – LEGOS/PlayMobile

12:00PM–1:00PM – LUNCH: Dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets, entire bottle of ketchup

1:00PM – 1:30PM – Change out of pajamas, put on play clothes

1:30PM – 2:00PM – Draw elephant

2:00PM – 2:30PM – Puzzle

2:30PM – 3:00PM – Highlights Magazine

3:00PM – 4:00PM – Change back into pajamas, nap

4:00PM – 5:00PM – Go to neighbor’s pond, catch frogs, find cool rock (hopefully)

5:00PM – 5:30PM – DINNER: Bagel Bites, Orange Tic-Tacs, Halloween candy

5:30PM – 9:00PM – Be in a movie. 

140 Underrated Tweeters

tracymarquez:

Every end of the year Twitter list of “who to follow” always includes every person we already follow. So I decided to take it upon myself to make a list of 140 underrated, super funny tweeters with less than 20,000 followers. Enjoy. Follow. Share. And don’t suck dick for money.

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(via electricband)

A series of highly important thoughts...